A sincere and mutual love between a woman and a man should end in a marriage. In places on Java, a marriage occurs due to the decision of a loving couple or due to the wish of their parents. This has been a matter of principle since the ancient time. A Javanese proverb says: "Tresno jalaran saka kulino". It can be translated as "love grows as you get more used to each other". Up till now, a Javanese always stays close to the family. Family solidarity is of prime importance.
The ProposalThe parents of the man (would-be-bridegroom) send an envoy to the parents of the woman (would-be-bride), proposing that their son is willing to marry their daughter. Nowadays, for practical reasons, the parents of both sides can talk directly. The parents of the couple have to approve the marriage. Usually, the parents of the would-be-bride have a greater say, as they are the ones who organise the ceremony. They are the ones who choose which kind of wedding is chosen (among other Paés Agung - great make-up - or Paés Kesatrian - knight's make-up - which is more simple). Every marriage pattern differs in make-up and dresses for the bride and bridegroom.They plan the wedding ceremonies which must be followed, such as Peningsetan (traditional engagement), Siraman (bathing ceremony), Midodareni (ceremony on the eve before the wedding), Panggih (ritual meeting). There has also to be decided what kind of dresses the parents should wear, what kind of batik pattern, which colour etc.
The ProposalThe parents of the man (would-be-bridegroom) send an envoy to the parents of the woman (would-be-bride), proposing that their son is willing to marry their daughter. Nowadays, for practical reasons, the parents of both sides can talk directly. The parents of the couple have to approve the marriage. Usually, the parents of the would-be-bride have a greater say, as they are the ones who organise the ceremony. They are the ones who choose which kind of wedding is chosen (among other Paés Agung - great make-up - or Paés Kesatrian - knight's make-up - which is more simple). Every marriage pattern differs in make-up and dresses for the bride and bridegroom.They plan the wedding ceremonies which must be followed, such as Peningsetan (traditional engagement), Siraman (bathing ceremony), Midodareni (ceremony on the eve before the wedding), Panggih (ritual meeting). There has also to be decided what kind of dresses the parents should wear, what kind of batik pattern, which colour etc.
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